Sunday, December 17, 2006

Strapless dresses are in, strapless Wiis are out

Some thought Nintendo's biggest challenge would be overcoming Sony in the holiday market. It seems, however, Nintendo's biggest enemy is the general incompetence of the American consumer. Due to "a rash of reports that the devices flew out of the hands of overzealous players," Nintendo is offering to replace 3.2 million straps for its Wii remote control, according to an AP report.

"People tended to get a bit excited, especially while playing Wii sports and in some cases the control would come loose from their hands" due to a broken strap, Nintendo spokesperson Yasuhiro Minagawa said. To fix this, Nintendo will be replacing the original strap (0.024 inch diameter) with a thicker strap (0.04000000000 inch diameter). The new straps can be ordered at Nintendo's website.

With Nintendo replacing their strap after people hurled their controllers through their television sets, it may be only a matter of time before the bruised eyes, sprained ankles, bloody noses, bladder infections, cracked toe nails, vaginal tearing and other reported injuries force the video game giant to stop producing Wii consoles altogether. Good job, America. First Iraq, now this.

Justin: I was going to post this earlier, but I didn't because it sounded bitter and fanboy-ish. But if I ran a popular Nintendo fan site, I'd just start posting dozens of articles per day about neighborhood kids breaking neighbors' windows with baseballs, and frisbees getting stuck on neighbors' roofs. Then after a week, I'd start to demand that baseballs and frisbees be recalled.

Chris V: Hey didn't you used to run a popular Nintendo fan site?

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