Thursday, April 5, 2007

In the news

After spending approximately 32 hours trying to find the correct WHIP figure for Randy Wolf, I'm not going to waste time posting my NL West findings 'til tomorrow. I also have some pictures from the Rangers hockey game I was at Saturday, which I'll upload in a couple of days while I brag about the team making the playoffs. In the meantime, here's some news items.

* Why the Long Face? Obese Treated Like Horses
RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Rio de Janeiro hospitals have been sending obese people to share medical test equipment with horses at the local race track, drawing complaints from activists who say the practice is humiliating.
One would think it would be more humiliating to be too fat for normal medical equipment. Kudos to whomever wrote the headline.

* FBI agent possibly killed by colleague:
Agent Barry Lee Bush, 52, assigned to the Newark office, died after agents confronted three men suspected in a series of armed bank robberies. Two of the men were captured.

"Preliminarily, information suggests the agent may have been fatally wounded as a result of the accidental discharge of another agent's weapon during a dynamic arrest situation," the FBI said in a statement Thursday night.
Nice to see friendly fire isn't limited to our military. They didn't even catch all the guys, so another job well done by the government. If the FBI gets pissed about that comment (obviously the monitor everything I write and say), hopefully they will shoot themselves before trying to kidnap me.

* China denies role in U.S. pet deaths:
The China Inspection and Quarantine Times said in a report on its Web site dated Tuesday that as of March 29, 2007 China had "never exported wheat or wheat gluten to ... the United States."

This contradicted comments by two employees at the Xuzhou Anying Biologic Technology Development Co., this week who said the company had shipped wheat gluten to the United States.
A) That paper sounds fairly boring, and 2) Those employees have already been shot in the back of the head. Let's hope their brains don't end up in my Fancy Feast.

*Dentist guilty of urinating in surgery sink:
LONDON (Reuters) - A British dentist was found guilty Thursday of urinating in his surgery sink and using dental tools meant for patients to clean his fingernails and ears.

A medical tribunal said it was satisfied the evidence showed 51-year-old Alan Hutchinson, who "routinely" did not wear gloves or wash his hands, had risked the health of "himself, staff and patients" for more than 28 years.
If it's a crime to piss in a sink, then you may as well slap the handcuffs on me now. Besides which, if he's been doing this for 28 years, you'd think someone would have complained before now. Either the British bureaucracy is worse than ours, or the British are gits who don't pay attention to a slovenly dentist. Actually, probably more likely is that he's only had ten patients in 28 years.

* Pelosi visits Saudi Arabia's council:
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (news, bio, voting record) visited Saudi Arabia's unelected advisory council Thursday, the closest thing in the kingdom to a legislature, where she tried out her counterpart's chair — a privilege no Saudi woman can have because women cannot become legislators.
* * *
"It's a nice view from here," Pelosi said as she sat in the chair, facing the ornate chamber with its deep blue and yellow chairs and gilded ironwork. "This chair is very comfortable."
Nice to see you enjoying your time travelling abroad. How's that health care coming along? What? Eat my nuts.

* Moisture led to salmonella outbreak:
Moisture from a leaky roof and faulty sprinkler helped salmonella bacteria grow and contaminate peanut butter at its Georgia plant last year, sickening more than 400 people nationwide, ConAgra Foods said Thursday.
Is it possible to go two days without some kind of food product being contaminated? I have an idea, let's give another tax break to these companies, they deserve it. Maybe they can hire more illegal Mexicans to shit on my tomatoes and drunken sods to monitor the conditions of the cheese processing plant. It's not like I need to eat without getting deadly sick.

* NYC eyes circumcision push to fight AIDS:
NEW YORK - City health officials are considering a program to urge circumcision for men at high risk of AIDS, noting studies that the procedure can reduce the chances of getting the disease.
* * *
U.N. health agencies last week recommended circumcision for heterosexual men after three studies in Africa found that the procedure reduced men's chances of contracting HIV by up to 60 percent.
They're probably too sore to stick their dicks in anything.

* 'Girls Gone Wild' boss won't surrender:
PENSACOLA, Fla. - The founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos defied a federal judge Thursday, calling him a "judge gone wild" and refusing to surrender to U.S. marshals on a contempt citation.

U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak ordered Joe Francis into custody after settlement negotiations soured in a lawsuit brought by seven women who were minors when Francis' company filmed them on Panama City Beach.

The 34-year-old Francis, who makes an estimated $29 million a year through the videos of girls exposing their breasts, drew the contempt order Wednesday after lawyers for the women said Francis threatened them during negotiations.
In this day and age, it's hard to find true heroes, people who exemplify everything we ought strive to be. This is one such man.

* Porn swap sparks defense leak furore:
Police launched a probe last week after a navy officer married to a Chinese woman was found to have taken home a computer disk containing information about the high-tech Aegis radar system, domestic media said.

Aegis is used on Japanese destroyers that are to be fitted with SM-3 missile interceptors from this year as part of the missile defense program.

The officer told police he accidentally copied the confidential data onto his computer's hard disk when copying porn from a computer belonging to a crew member from another destroyer, the Yomiuri newspaper reported.
Considering the kind of wild porn the Japanese have, it might have been worth it.

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