Saturday, April 21, 2007

Nontendo GameLad



If there's a more blatant "borrowing" of the Nintendo Wii's Mii idea, I have yet to see it.

Friday, April 20, 2007

March 07 sales figures for video game consoles

Via Lisa Baertlein:

Sony Playstation 2 - 280,000 units
Nintendo Wii - 259,000 units
Microsoft XBox 360 - 199,000 units
Sony Playstation 3 - 130,000 units

I wonder why Sony even bothered making a new console. They could have just had developers make games for the PS2 for another five years, seeing as it doesn't seem to bother people.

Also of note: the strong Wii sales. I wonder if there are still people predicting Nintendo's doom. If the company didn't go bankrupt four years ago, Nintendo isn't going to die now, not with the Wii and DS. Nintendo really hit the nail on the head with its market disruption, and the company also gave me a chance to apply a seldom used blog label. Looking at it simply, isn't that what Nintendo was striving for (success via market disruption, not my use of blog labels)?

Fight violence with violence

Carol Iannone is hardcore:
I am sorry that no one had a gun to take the killer out before he could destroy more lives. He was evidently able to reload. Was there a moment when he could have been tackled? I don't say this to condemn or judge anyone, believe me, but so that we think in terms of what can be done in the future. Just as there is widespread CPR training and instruction in the Heimlich maneuver, perhaps we should have classes and training to prepare for such situations. Enough of them have happened in recent years to warrant this.

Of course it's unimaginably terrifying to be confronted with an armed lunatic but perhaps he could have been jumped and overcome while he was reloading if some students had been able to recognize and shake off the fear, panic, and paralysis that can take over at such times. We all need to learn to act, and not necessarily to rely on security and responders. We are supposed to be at war. This was not an act of terrorism but it may as well have been, for the damage it caused. We must be wartime ready.
"You try to ban the A.K.
I got ten of 'em stashed
With a case of hand grenades" - B. Count, 1992

She also adds, "And, sorry again, but thoughts also arise on the killer's being an English major and on the spiritual emptiness of much education nowadays."

Yeah, I...what?

Per blogosphere ettiquette™, I will note that I found this article via alicublog.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Why no one likes rock critics

From Philadelphia City Paper, April 2005:
It's not easy being a follower, a sheep. People, am I right, or am I right? Back in the '90s, they said: The mainstream sucks. Indie is king. Stephen Malkmus or Scott Weiland, who do you trust?

For a hopelessly confused budding rock critic, where exactly to tread wasn't clear.
* * *
So we let lapse our interests in Pink Floyd (good idea) and The Who (bad one, since rectified) and commenced wading through the stuff we were supposed to like.
* * *
Then, slowly but surely, everything changed: Indie sucks. The mainstream is king. Yay popular pop. While some of us weren't paying attention, the zeitgeist blew right by. And all we have to show for the journey are dead-end streets, having followed bands no one noticed, gone to shows no one saw, immersed ourselves in albums no one bought.
The article is about the band Garbage. He spends 400 words talking about himself before getting to the band. Let me ask you, what kind of critic follows trends and bands just to be considered cool? A bad one. The name of the article is "Now You are Supposed To Like Garbage." No, asshole, you were always supposed to like them if you enjoyed their music.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Chocolate Goblin

He lurks in the darkest night
Blood stains on his fangs of white
He listens for your raspy breath
His goal is your vanilla death

[chorus]
He is the chocolate goblin
Born with a candy-coated hide
He is the chocolate goblin
Under his skin, there's fudge inside

His claws will eviscerate
His eyes of steel devastate
His breath hangs like clouds in the sky
His brain tastes like nougat pie

[chorus]

[bridge]
Living in the forests
He creates a living hell
When he takes a dump
It looks like caramel

[guitar solo]

[chorus]

If you see him, you will shudder
His hair stinks like peanut butter
Before you can even scream
He'll drink your blood like berry cream

[chorus]
[repeat x 3]

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I swear to you that I'll swear at you

(Not) flying the friendly #@$% skies:
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Northwest Airlines canceled a flight set to leave from Las Vegas to Detroit after the captain cursed on a cell phone in a bathroom, then swore at one of the 180 passengers on the plane, officials said on Saturday.
* * *
When the captain emerged from the bathroom, a passenger confronted him about his behavior, reportedly prompting more cursing by the pilot of the B757 aircraft.
I'm sure the other passengers were thrilled that Captain Morality had to confront the pilot and get the flight canceled. I bet no one had anywhere to be.

People get so upset about vulgarity. Millions of children can go hungry here and abroad and no one bats an eyelid, but someone says "fuck" and it's a big incident. Well, my advice is to ignore the children and the curse words, and the world will be a better place, or at least a place where we can fly over the starving children.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Koo-koo-ka-choo, Jackie Robinson

Major League Baseball is very excited to celebrate the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson (career .310 EqA, .408 OBP) breaking the color barrier. This is a bit of a misnomer, as Robert "Iron Lung" Tottlesworth broke the real color barrier in 1942 when he became the first ultraviolet baseball player.

While we watch the sport honor Jackie R, at least we can rest easy knowing that MLB never allowed anyone to break the gender barrier. Imagine, a female baseball player! Next they'll want the vote.

Friends without benefits

A "friend with benefits" is a buddy of yours that you exchange genital fluids with, but without the, uh, whatever it is a romantic relationship provides for people outside of sex. However, doesn't that term ("friend with benefits") imply that for those friends not being slept with, they offer no benefits? I tend to disagree. My friends offer numerous benefits not having to do with sex, and to be honest, I barely want to sleep with any of them, although I would be willing to try it once with each of them, just to keep an open mind. Let no one say I am not xenophilic.

In the same realm, what is to be said about the peace process in the Middle East? That if Jews and Muslims are not sleeping together, they have nothing to offer each other? They both have a healthy love of beards, and a strong dislike of eating pigs. Some people get married just on those two areas of interest. From now on, I say we eliminate the usage of the term "friend with benefits" and just refer to it as "the fuckbuddy system." I think it would be beneficial for all, especially if you add a little air humping after saying it.

A message for the troops

"Sendin' this letter out to my soldiers overseas
Ya'll come back real soon, pull my panties to my knees"



Sandra Bauleo of The Dregs Comedy group. Found via Lawyers, Guns and Money.

P.S. - The easiest part of blogging is linking to other people being funny. That, and there's no dress code. Hello, Spider-Man boxers!

Update 4/16: This is my favorite comment about this video over at YouTube:
maririnko (3 hours ago)
Overall inanely Stupid. An obvious attempt by Libs to try and cut in the Country market. The terrorists will follow us to our land if we cut and run out of Iraq. A simpleton can figure that out regardless of anybodies point of political view. Better to fight them over there then find out what is in this sluts underwear.
I love this country so hard.