Friday, May 4, 2007

You CAN take the sky from me

I thought this -

Was this -

And nearly had a nerdgasm. Instead, Philadelphia Magazine is apparently just featuring an area businesswoman (aged 31) that is a mom and breast cancer survivor. While I was extremely disappointed, I suppose people that do business with her must be intrigued.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Ducks: hung like a horse

The New York Times' Carl Zimmer crafts a tale of intrigue:
Dr. Brennan was oblivious to bird phalluses until 1999. While working in a Costa Rican forest, she observed a pair of birds called tinamous mating. “They became unattached, and I saw this huge thing hanging off of him,” she said. “I could not believe it. It became one of those questions I wrote down: why do these males have this huge phallus?”
That's a damn good question, and one I have been asking myself ever since that one time I woke up in bed next to the Aflac duck.
When she first visited in January, the phalluses were the size of rice grains. Now many of them are growing rapidly. The champion phallus from this Meller’s duck is a long, spiraling tentacle. Some ducks grow phalluses as long as their entire body. In the fall, the genitalia will disappear, only to reappear next spring.
So ducks are the Sisyphus of the animal kingdom. They work so hard to get a massive ding dong, only to have it whither away again and again.

Also, um, that is very disturbing. I would hate to wake up one day and find my penis smaller than it used to be. Granted, I would probably be unsettled if my penis was 10 feet long and spiralling, but that's at least something I could live with.
Dr. McCracken, who discovered the longest known bird phallus on an Argentine duck in 2001, is struck by the fact that it was a woman who discovered the complexity of female birds. “Maybe it’s the male bias we all have,” he said. “It’s just been out there, waiting to be discovered.”
I'm not sure what that last quote means, but it's really stupid.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Abstaining from abstinence

Timothy Noah, Slate:
ABC News and the Washington Post are reporting that Deputy Secretary of State Randall Tobias resigned April 27 after confirming to ABC News that he's on Jeane Palfrey's little list. Palfrey is a D.C. madam under prosecution who's been receiving, through her attorney, phone calls from lawyers for various prominent johns begging her not to make their clients' names public. Tobias is administrator of the State Department's foreign aid programs.
* * *
Tobias is the Bush administration's leading advocate of abstinence-only programs abroad!

Here's what Tobias told PBS' Frontline in March 2005, when he was Bush's global AIDS czar (I quote this at great length because, well, why not?):
Well, the heart of our prevention programs is what's known as ABC: abstinence, be faithful, and the correct and consistent use of condoms when appropriate.
* * *
And it's also not "ABC: Take your pick." It's abstinence really focused heavily on young people and getting them to understand that the best way to keep from getting infected is to be abstinent and not engage in sexual activity until they are old enough and mature enough and get into a committed relationship, such as a marriage. B is being faithful within that committed relationship.
I'm going to guess that most people are not shocked by this turn of events. Abstinence is a bullshit philosophy, and usually the ones promoting it are full of shit themselves. What kind of bothers me is the fact he was banging prostitutes instead of interns. Prostitution is a great idea (it's in the Bible, check it out), but the actual prostitutes are not worth sleeping with. In fact, most prostitutes I have seen are hideous, and would actually make me abstinent. Maybe it's different in the high priced call girl world of Washington politics, and maybe the prostitutes with madams are different than the hookers who pay 75% of their earnings to a pimp named Sugar Bear, but usually pretty girls just marry rich guys and cut out the middle men. Who knows what kind of beasts Tobias bagged?

Monday, April 30, 2007

The Nye Mets are my fave-o-ret squadron

Nameless, unloved AP reporter:
LONDON, England (AP) -- An American computer programmer who later became an FBI informant told a British court during 17 days of testimony that he ran training camps in Pakistan for Islamic militants and nurtured a generation of homegrown British terrorists.
* * *
Flanked by U.S. marshals on the witness stand, Babar -- who prosecutors said is the first FBI informant to testify in a British terror case -- described how the plot developed in the cramped mosques of suburban England and the hills of Pakistan's tribal belt.
* * *
The slightly built Yankees fan from Queens described how he mingled with radicals from the fall of 2001, when he quit a job as a computer programmer and left New York for Lahore -- saying he was radicalized by the U.S.-led invasion of Afghanistan.
Here I thought Red Sox fans were only writers for the New York Times and ESPN (aside from, you know, New England newspapers).

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Mac Daddy

Someone explain this to me -



Does that mean Macs don't have calculators? I usually get the Mac ads, even when they're stupid, but this one isn't registering.

After watching 20 or more Mac ads, it seems like all Macs do are make movies, organize pictures, and not get viruses. Awesome...I guess.

Now let me post this before my PC crashes.