Saturday, December 22, 2007

If I was Hitler...

...I wouldn't have killed the Jews.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Fuck you, Rotoworld



Of course, Rotoworld and Antonio Gates were only 1/3 of my disappointing week. I'd also like to thank Tony Romo and Amani Toomer, along with Eli "I throw the ball too low" Manning, for allowing my exit from my league's fantasy playoffs.

I don't even have reality, do you have to take away my fantasy?! At least I'll always have the fantasy about Scarlett Johansson's boobs.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Maybe I could study abroad

I was at the website for the New Jersey State Bar Foundation, "the charitable and educational Foundation of the New Jersey State Bar Association," which "provides a wide variety of free law-related education services to the public." Among their services provided includes a series of videos about the law. Here is the table of contents:
Law On The Line

* Affirmative Action
* Arbitration and Mediation
* Auto Insurance
* Breast Implants
* Children with Special Needs
* Civil Court
* Elder Care
* Family Law
* Megan's Law Update
* Prosecutor's Office
* Real Estate Law
* Residential Landlord/Tenant Law
* Victims of Crime Compensation Board
* Workers Compensation
I didn't know attorneys could specialize in breast implants. That was practically my minor as an undergrad.

Monday, December 17, 2007

A conundrum

If you park in a driveway, but drive on a parkway, then why is it illegal for me to sleep with ten goats?

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Roger Clemens: Hall of Famer?

I caught the end of This Week With George Stephanopoulos, where he was having his round table discussion featuring George Will, Donna Brazile, Claire Shipman and Jay Carney. For some terrible reason, they were discussing the Mitchell Report. Two points were made that I want to address.

First, George Will compared Andy Pettitte's two uses of HGH while he was on the DL to a player getting a cortisone shot. I am glad someone finally brought this up, i.e. that cortisone is a steroid. Obviously, Will's point was that Pettitte should not have his career reputation ruined over a small mistake rather than a player that had continuous use. However, I think it useful to consider that if Pettitte had received a cortisone shot and not tried HGH in 2002, there would be no problem, even though cortisone is a steroid. Heck, I've used steroids before, in a cream for treating severely dry skin on my hands. In fact, I'll use it again. Maybe tonight. Will you join me?

The other issue brought up was whether Roger Clemens should be in the Hall of Fame. All of the panelists and Stephanopoulos said no. These people are wrong. From 1984 through 1996, Roger's entire tenure with Boston, he put up ERA+ numbers of 97, 131, 169, 154, 141, 132, 213, 164, 175, 104, 177, 116, and 139. An ERA+ of 100 is league average. With Boston, his K/9 rate ranged from 8.0 (1985) to 11.0 (1988), the latter a career high. He had more than 250 strikeouts nine times during that span, including his last year of Boston, at which point his career was supposedly on the decline. In fact, his 1996 numbers included 286 strikeouts (9.7 K/9) and a 1.33 WHIP.

Figuring that Clemens probably could have played at least another five years, and knowing that he had 192 wins for Boston and 2,590 strikeouts, he probably could have finished with 250 or 255 wins and easily would have made 3,000 strikeouts, and more than likely 4,000.

In other words, Roger Clemens was a Hall of Fame player with or without steroids and/or human growth hormone.