Thursday, March 13, 2008

When a good shit goes bad

There are only two reasons I could imagine for sitting on a toilet longer than ten minutes. One is if I was reading a magazine article, comic or novel, and the other is if I was sick. Still, the time on the john would not exceed, at worst, an hour. So this article is kind of surprising:
WICHITA, Kan. — Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.
* * *
[Her boyfriend] told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,"' Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.
There are days when I need a little time to myself, and I can see why you'd want to escape to the bathroom. There are also times when your stomach disagrees with what you dropped inside it. But to sit there for two years? She must've had the curry chicken.

2 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

That must have been some toilet seat.
At least she never had to worry about getting caught short.

ChrisV82 said...

I can't help but wondering how many People magazine issues she read.