Thursday, May 29, 2008

Watching a woman drown

I received another email from Thrillary Clinton, Presidential Hopeful. Let's take a look:
Have you seen the general election polls lately? They consistently show that we'll beat John McCain in November.
That's a refreshing attitude. The Democrats can beat McCain...we have the better ideas. We have the better vision. We -
In a national head-to-head match and in the critical swing states, the numbers show I'm the best candidate to take back the White House for Democrats.
Oh, I see. When you say "we," you mean "Hillary Clinton...ah yes, and the little people who helped me (that's you)." Well, what do you want from the little people?
That is why it's critical that we stay in this race and keep fighting for every last vote. We can win the nomination if we extend our popular vote lead, and that means putting everything we have into the final races. With just a few days before the voters in Puerto Rico head to the polls, our campaign is working hard -- and your support is making the difference.
Ah, try to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, eh? I don't think anything is making the difference, but as some scholars have noted, you can still get the nomination in other, creative ways...just not necessarily legitimate or comfortable ways.

Anything else?
Every vote matters. I need you to help today and join our matching program. When you give today, a supporter will match your contribution and double its impact, making your $25 gift worth $50 or your $50 gift worth $100.
Asking for money was disingenuous two months ago, and it is certainly not any better now. In these hard economic times, why would you try to cheat Americans out of $5 or $10? What are you, a pyramid scam?

[Readers may note that I am writing this as if I was speakingg directly to Hillary Clinton. Readers may also presume that Hillary Clinton will never read this. This assessment is wrong. Ms. Clinton has eyes everywhere. By this time tomorrow, I may have had the bullet with Obama's name on it stir my own brains instead. Enemies of Ms. Clinton will perish. Send my love to my wife. I'm not married, so just pick a random woman, preferably someone attractive. Pubic hair doesn't bother me. End transmission.]

2 comments:

Chuckling said...

Yes, Chris, you were right, a Hillary supporter was bound to come around and smack you up. Well, here I am.

You just have to realize that Hillary deserves to be president. Everything follows naturally from that fact, no matter what those horrible Obama people may say.

Never mind that she is a Republican. It's not about politics. It's about Hillary. She deserves to be president. Repeat it. She deserves to be president. Repeat it. Then repeat it some more. Eventually you will understand.

ChrisV82 said...

If only those super delegates would do the right thing and make her the queen.