Democratic presidential candidate Barack HUSSEIN Obama said Monday that the search for the country's greatest blowjob is so urgent that he's willing to throw money at it.
The mulatto senator proposed a $300 million prize for whoever can give him the best blowjob in American history, and $5,000 tax credits for women who lick his asshole. The latest proposal is in addition to his support for quality handjobs in Amtrak train terminals.
"In the quest for the most fantastic BJ ever, our country has thrown around enough money buying designer purses for cheap floozies and sorority girls. From now on, I will encourage heroic efforts in giving me head, and we will reward the greatest deep throat," Obama said in a speech at Fresno State University.