Friday, August 8, 2008


Today marks the beginning of the Olympics in Beijing, where athletes will compete to bring great shame to their home country by coming in 14th place.

Some days, I think about what it would be like to jump off the Walt Whitman Bridge and have my bones shatter on the water below.

Sixty-three years ago today, the Soviet Union declared war on Japan. Today, neither the Soviet Union nor Japan exist.

I picture what it would be like to blow my brains out with a gun. I also contemplate using two guns at once to avoid fucking up and leaving myself a vegetable.

On August 8th, 1949, Bhutan became an independent nation. Somewhere, a child cried.

When my imagination is particularly cruel, I think about how easy it would be to blow myself up on a train.

Twenty years ago, the Chicago Cubs hosted the Philadelphia Phillies at night, the first game played in the dark in South Chicago ever. The game was rained out after 3 1/2 innings, thus ruining an historic event. Oops.

Those are the only real suicide scenarios I have. I am fairly adverse to pain and choking.

Dustin Hoffman was born on August 8, 1937. Dustin is a stupid name.

I guess I would be willing to die in a gunfight, presuming I was able to kill my arch-enemy first. I'd stagger, say something witty, ask "is this the price of victory?," and then drop dead. However, I don't have an arch-enemy and that wouldn't be suicide, so it doesn't count.

In non-08*08*08 news, I saw the first leg of the Metal Masters tour. It was fucking awesome. I have pictures and a write up that I will theoretically get to over the weekend. Testament was good, Motorhead was great, and Heaven & Hell were fantastic, as terrific as they were last year but with an even better looking set (which is really secondary to the music, but still cool). They were so good, in fact, that I thought they would outshine Judas Priest. All Priest did was come out and put on the most amazing show they could, pumping at all cylinders and playing all high-octane songs (with one exception, Angel). They even broke out Dissident Aggressor. This was the third time I've seen Priest (the other two in 2001 and 2005), and while I never saw them in their prime (outside of video), I couldn't ask for a better performance in 2008.

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