Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Live blogging to looking for porn

(All times evening, EST)

8:56 - Time to take a break from my historical fiction novel about the Boston Molassess Flood of 1919 to look for adult entertainment, or barring that, pornography.

9:01 - Google Image Search for "Sarah Michelle Gellar with stuff shoved up her butt" turned up pictures of her elbows...elbows not shoved up her butt.

9:05 - Hmm, a porn directory. My gateway to nubile young girls.

9:06 - Thank you pop up blocker.

9:10 - Hirsuite? Color me intrigued.

9:13 - This is interesting.

9:14 - No. Too much hair. Too much...hair.

9:17 - This redheaded Asians site is one of those examples of taking two things and mixing them together for terrible results, like pineapple pizza.

9:20 - I'm passing on the pissing.

9:23 - An anus should not be that far open. Not without something holding it open, like a forearm.

9:24 - Interesting tattoo; placing it on the stomach ensures it will never be regretted later in life.

9:30 - The tit to cock ratio should never exceed 2:1 in favor of breasts.

9:32 - Maybe I should try some video and leave the pictures to the "artists."

9:45 - All porn cameramen are gay. That's the only explanation for the extreme close-ups of balls and hairy ass. That or mis-en-scene.

9:49 - Back to pictures. Nice blonde.

9:51 - Nicer brunette.

9:53 - THi s is good.

9:54 - riae

9L55 - djsjjjjjj

9:56 - Oh God...what have I done?

9:59 - Well, it looks like Starbucks is closing for the night. See you later.

4 comments:

Porn Student said...

This is a funny post. Thanks for the laugh.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Does anyone check the MILFs are really mothers? How about your friend Nader looking into to this, he's always championing the consumer.

Jai said...

I'm more worried about the MILFs maybe being grandmothers. MILFs should not look like they're 40 or worse - there's the whole "ILF" part to take into consideration, after all. People with different opinions should stop wasting time and just start searching for "sexy grannies" or "mature raisin-looking women" or "what is wrong with me".

ChrisV82 said...

Student - Thanks for the comment!

GB - Sadly, I think Nader's days of investigating boobs - outside of the ones in Congress - are long gone.

Jai - I prefer my MILFs to be in the 30-40 range, maybe going to 45 or even rarely 50. I also prefer them to be, say, under 180 pounds. So really, any MILF site that has 70 year olds and whale women is committing consumer fraud.