Monday, December 1, 2008

Jesus Christ, chocolate bar

Christians, as part of their weekly routine, take the body of Christ in the form of a little wafer or piece of bread. However, there's nothing in the Bible that says Christians can't enjoy a delicious chocolate savior during the other six days of the week. Who doesn't like a little bit of Jesus melting oh so sweetly in their mouth? Apparently, the Germans.  
Germany's churches criticized a businessman on Tuesday for selling thousands of Jesus chocolates.

Frank Oynhausen set up his "Sweet Lord" chocolate Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany.
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"It is terrible that Jesus is being wrapped up in gold foil and sold along with chocolate bunnies, edible penguins and lollipops," said Aegidius Engel, a spokesman for the archbishopric of nearby Paderborn.

"This is ruining the symbol of Jesus himself," he added.
First of all, I believe that all penguins are edible. There isn't a bird alive that can't pass through my digestive tract. Secondly, I think the church(es) sell the fine art of chocolate short. Confections are an art. Flemish paintings depict beautiful renditions of religious stories and imagery, and the historic works would fetch a hefty price on the auction block.

A man just purchased a 2.2 pound white truffle for $200,000. Granted, it was a fungus, but imagine how much you could earn selling a two pound chocolate truffle. Now, picture a 2.2 pound chocolate truffle in the shape of the sacred heart. It could easily fetch in excess of $350,000.

It is hard for me to believe that God would tell people not to cast cocoa likenesses of his holiness. God recently told a San Antonio, Texas resident to drive into a woman at 100 mph because "she needed to be taken off the road." If God is assisting us with our traffic safety, than surely God wants to help us with our dessert plates.


Anonymous said...
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Gorilla Bananas said...

You can eat it but don't lick it. That would be sacrilegious.

Jai said...

At this rate, how long will it be until we're eating Jesus' chocolate, salty balls?

ChrisV82 said...

Sweet Cheeks, I bet more people would go to church if each service was sponsored by Godiva.

GB, sacrilegious to Jesus or to the chocolate?

Jai, grease up the cookie sheet, 'cause Jesus hates when his balls stick.