Monday, July 6, 2009

Michael Jackson sucked

Literally, I mean. He sucked a lot of little children's little penises.

If you browse Michael Jackson's back catalog - of which there isn't a lot after the 1970s, since he only released four studio albums since 1982 - a fair amount of his songs fall into three categories. They are about how he does not sleep with women (Billie Jean, Dirty Diana), how he is really a bad ass (Beat It...I may be confusing the video for the song, Bad), and how everyone is mean to him (Leave Me Alone, Scream).

Here is an amusing progression of Jackson's faces. It stops at 2004, but this is a fair assessment of recent days.

Amazingly, all of the surgeries did not render him unto death. Instead, it was the good old fashioned celebrity death - drug overdose. In this case, prescription drugs. Jackson was a victim. He was a victim of bad parenting and mental illness. Nevertheless, I still think he was a twat and I have mourned his death the same way I mourned Bea Arthur's death, by not mourning it.

To be fair, Bea Arthur never had an arcade game made after her.


Gorilla Bananas said...

I think he would have been happier if he'd come out as gay. It didn't harm Elton John. Maybe the real story is homophobia in the black community.

Anonymous said...

Dude, why all the hate for Bea Arthur?
the golden tgirslw ouldn't have been as funny without her!!!
jackson sucked, you're right.

ChrisV82 said...

Don't get me wrong, Bea Arthur was fine. I think the Golden Girls is the greatest family friendly comedy of all time, presuming it's okay for kids to hear old women joke about fornication (it's actually creepier to hear as an adult).