Saturday, May 2, 2009

Get Canned Brand

Perhaps you've heard that Drop Dead Fred is being remade, this time starring comedian Russell Brand as Fred.



I'm not...I'm not sure why we need this. I'm generally against remakes anyway, but this is not even a particularly beloved movie. I saw it when it came out, and that's the last time I saw it. Sure, it had Phoebe Cates before she dropped off the map, and a nice supporting role for Carrie Fisher, and the slapstick was great for the kids, but...you know...really? We need this? A new Drop Dead Fred?



Don't get me wrong, I find Russell Brand to be a humorous chap, but...you know...Drop Dead Fred?



Really? I guess Brand is a good replacement for Rik Mayall, but that's like saying Margaret Cho would be a good replacement for Roseanne Barr in a She-Devil remake.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Crunching the numbers

Gross domestic product by country, in [millions of] U.S. Dollars:

18th - Poland @ $525,735
19th - Indonesia @ $511,765
20th - Belgium @ $506,392
The advertising budget of Geico @ $497,000
21st - Switzerland @ $492,595
22nd - Sweden @ $484,550

It won't matter soon anyway, as the swine pandemic will wipe out 1/4th of the world's population. I've stocked up on weapons. I'll die fighting before I let those pig bastards infect me.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Knee deep in the rock

As appears to be an annual occurrence, my plumbing has gone to shit - literally. While running the laundry this morning, my toilet overflowed. After carrying buckets of water outside and cleaning up, it looked like the problem went away. I took a shower tonight and my toilet overflowed again, this time with feces...and also this time seeping into my bedroom.

So, I'm here, close to 4 a.m., putting in a request for a plumber to come and fix this mess, again. It's frustrating. I only have a handful of years left on this planet, and I had to waste an entire day dealing with toilet issues. What a waste of a life.

Speaking of wastes of lives, let's redirect my focus to Detroit. Many great bands have performed in Detroit, but unfortunately, they were doomed to obscurity. With the stench of human waste still in my nostrils, let's celebrate a few of them.

FRÜT



HALLOWEEN



SEDUCE