Sunday, November 14, 2010

Across the Universe

Days after popular website The Huffington Post announced it was creating a new section to provide dating info, parenting tips, financial guidance, legal advice, et al for people who check "Divorced" on their official forms, NBA athlete Steve Nash announced he and his wife, Alejandro, were splitting. The news came the day after their son was born, so I'm wondering when he served her with the papers. I presume she wasn't using the Divorce Complaint to wipe the sweat from her brow during the delivery, but even if he gave it to her a few weeks before childbirth, that still stinks like an infant's bowel movement.

As I am in the business of divorce, I am sensitive to relationships, what keeps them healthy and what causes them to end. I believe that just because a relationship ends does not mean the time when it worked wasn't great. Yes, some marriages suck, but sometimes people drift apart. In fact, I think given enough time, all relationships would end. Maybe not friendships, although they would probably become distant. If we lived to be 1,000 years old, I don't think any of us would stay married for 500 years, except for those few miserable people who stay together because they have no other options.

I think this because no two people are perfectly alike or compatible. Imagine two lines that look parallel, but one is 1/1,000,000th of a percentage off. While those two lines will ride together for a long time, eventually they will be distant enough from each other that it will be quite noticeable.

This brings me back to my original point. If you've been together for 25 years and you wake up one day and realize the person you fell in love with all those decades ago just seems like a different person, it may be because they are. And so may you. Our life experiences guide us and change us, and we don't always go in the same direction. That doesn't mean the years prior weren't wonderful. Just because something ends doesn't take away from the quality of when it was around, if in fact it was good. Nothing lasts; we just try to get the most out of things when we have them.

This also doesn't mean everyone has to separate. I said earlier that all people will eventually grow apart given time. That time may not be in our lifetimes. For those people who die still in love with their partners, they are fortunate. That may be one of the gifts of our brief existences.


Gorilla Bananas said...
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